#alloaro culture

[aro-culture-is]

Aroallo culture is listening to Against the Kitchen Floor on loop

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[aroallo-corvid]

sprite and 7-up are aroallo culture now because they are lemon-lime flavour (inspired by that one post from like a month ago about how lemon-lime should be aroallo because of the colour scheme)

[straighttohellbuddy]

thinking about Lovejoy describing themselves in three words as 'Aromantic British Noises'

thinking about Lovejoy describing themselves in three words as 'Aromantic British Noises'

thinking about how the idea of aromanticism isn't nearly as widespread as it is on Tumblr/various other corners of the internet

thinking about how most people would probably assume the use of Aromantic as a descriptor would imply a lack of any kind of love or romance or close interpersonal relationships in their music which is INHERENTLY NOT TRUE

thinking about Lovejoy choosing Aromantic specifically, confident enough in understanding the actual concept/culture of aromanticism to describe their entire band

thinking about the potential for there to be someone(s) in Lovejoy who is either on the Aromantic spectrum or has considered it as a possibility and has researched it to understand it (and maybe themselves) better

thinking about hard about Lovejoys songs and realising that despite a few having vaguely romantic or implied romantic connotations, you could absolutely do an aro-spec reading of their whole discography

thinking about Lovejoy becoming part of Aro Culture in my heart

thinking about being aro-spec myself, and how id consider the term 'lovejoy' to still very much be my vibe despite that.

thinking about self described Aromantic British Noises, Lovejoy.

thinking about Lovejoy.

💚💚🤍🩶🖤

[aroallo-culture-is]

Alloaro culture is making a post about the lack of representation that alloaros get and then having 200+ notes talking about aroaces :/

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[just-aro]

ngl realizing im demisexual hurts like a motherfucker cuz now I feel like all the aces who said I was wrong about myself and that I can't be aroallo have a point.

they need to invent a demisexual that isn't on the ace spectrum cuz I still don't feel ace ngl.

honestly... speaking as someone who doesn't identify with any sexuality specifically, and feels more aroallo than aroace despite a sexuality that would probably fall somewhere in the ace-spec, you really do not have to use any labels you don't like for yourself.

it was cruel of others to insist your way of communicating your experiences was wrong. they don't matter, and frankly, probably aren't worth caring about - if you wouldn't trust them to have good intentions, would you trust them to care about you and why you identify how you do?

does their opinion matter? or does your personal way of relating to yourself matter more?

[loveless-arobee]

I… have some thoughts and you have to bear with me on that one because I’m not sure how to word this.

I am currently plotting a novella mostly about sexual intimacy. And it made me think of how sexuality/sexual intimacy/even sexual love is viewed in most of society, but also specifically aspec spaces, and I wanted to talk about that.

Because you have romantic intimacy or love that is viewed as the most pure and wholesome, and sex is only an add-on to it; sex cannot exist as a good and moral thing without being paired with romance in the eyes of society.

In aspec spaces there’s a huge focus on platonic intimacy (or love), or queerplatonic/alterous/… intimacy; and some people begrudgingly agree that you could have sex in those relationships, but there’s almost always the assumption that having sex with your friends will wreck the friendship in one way or another. If no one falls in love, to redeem the sex you had with romance, you will stop being friends soon enough because that just can’t work. Or, in slightly more progressive views, that sex can too be redeemed by platonic/queerplatonic/… love same as it can be with romantic love. That’s not any better though. That just purity culture and sex negativity in a fancy new mask.

Sexual love and purely sexual intimacy cannot exist as a good thing. You are using people for their bodies, are an disgusting pervert and an abuser for having/wanting a purely sexual relationship.

Or a sexual relationship can exist, but it can never be as deep as real friendship and least of all a romantic relationship. A sexual relationship must mean you only care for sex and not the person you’re having sex with. Sexual relationships are inherently shallow and if you do care for the person you’re having a sexual relationship with, that care must come from platonic or romantic or any other type of affection. And if you say it doesn’t, you’re either lying about the nature of your affection or your emotions towards your sexual partner.

And idk. It’s… weird. Why can’t a purely sexual relationship be as deep, or even deeper, on an emotional level, than friendship or romance? Why are even people who say they’re against relationship hierarchies so against agreeing that this includes purely sexual intimacy? (I know it’s purity culture. But c'mon; we as aspecs should be better than this… right?)

Sex is always seen as a negative thing unless it’s paired with love—and even then it’s something neutral at best. And if the sex is the love for a person, that is either a lie or that person is a disgusting abuser. Because you can’t possibly love (or show intimacy/affection/care…) through sex and nothing else.

Sexual relationships can be just as emotional and invested as friendships and romance can be. They don’t have to, of course—this isn’t another try to redeem sex. Honestly, completely shallow sexual relationships between people who just meet up every once in a while to fuck and do literally nothing else with each other are also completely alright.

But people so often deny that there could be any emotional depth to purely sexual attraction that doesn’t actually come from another emotion—and that’s just wrong.

All this to say, let people define their own emotions and connections. Sexual intimacy is good, actually, and it doesn’t have to be "redeemed" by any other kind of intimacy beside itself.

I hope I’m making enough sense to understand.

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

Plato repulsed man culture is wishing people would stop thinking you're "emotionally closed off" because of toxic masculinity or the "boys don't cry" attitude. I am literally just like this

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[demiro-allosexual-culture-is]

Demiro allosexual culture is being in a soft romo rlshp w ur aroace partner and having the best most positive rlshp defined on ur own terms

Also not being able to decide btwn aro grayro and demiro lol (but 100% bisexual 😎)

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[funkyfruta]

I've been having allosexual thoughts

It is disturbing

[aro-culture-is]

Non-ace aro culture is being tired of the response "Hey, I'm aroace too!"/"Hey, fellow aroace!"

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[moderndaycairn]

Idk about yall but as an alloaro guy friends with benefits are awesome actually. Provided they dont catch feelings it great like hell yeah bro no romo just frieds who fuck. Anyways happy pride month alloaros exist and r valid asf!!

[moody-b1tch]

[Rambling] when I see a big list of sexual/romantic orientation headcanons, and there's a bunch of acespect + alloromantic characters, but ZERO allosexual + arospect, my brain goes like "mmmmm, stinks a bit like puritan vibes + arophobia."

Disclaimer: I know those are just headcanons, and they're harmless. But, idk. I don't like the vibes.

[heartless-aro]

Where did the word aromantic come from?

In the early 2000s, the aro community resided mostly in asexual spaces. As I discussed in a previous post, the first use of the word “aromantic” (as it is used by the aro community) was on April 26, 2002 on the Yahoo group Haven for the Human Amoeba (HHA) by a user named maxnova100. This user said the following:

It’s quite disheartening to see friends of mine sacrifice what was once important to them (friends, pets, work, hobbies) for the sake of trasient “relationships.” Now, it’s understandable that people make such sacrifices for spouses and children, but those who throw aside things that once defined their lives to make time for a fling that they know won’t last more than a month, that to me is incomprehensible.

As such, I’d have to say that I’m not so much asexual (in that I have some sex drive, though probably much less than what’s “normal” for someone my age) as averse to having “romantic” relationships. They take up too much time and emotional energy (I’ve always felt emotionally drained and tired after what few “dates” I’ve been on) and subtract away from the things I really value in life. The concept of putting my hobbies, work, and avocational interests on the back burner for the sake of keeping a girlfriend entertained seems about as appealing to me as having a 100 pound ball and chain around my ankles.

Nor is this due to being a “loner,” as I enjoy the company of all types of people as friends and casual acquaintances. What would be an appropriate term for somebody who is not quite asexual but who dreads the concept of being in a “relationship?” Aromantic (LOL)?

The term aromantic didn’t really catch on for a while. In July of 2002 on AVEN, David Jay linked an article which drew distinctions between alloromantic and aromantic asexuals, who were referred to as “romantic asexuals” and “non-romantic asexuals,” respectively. The link to the article no longer works, so I cannot read the article itself. However, according to user AVENguy, “The distinction [between romantic asexual and non-romantic asexual] seems to be ‘those who wound up in relationships’ and ‘those who didn’t.’”

Following this, we begin to see the term “non-romantic asexual” used more often, sometimes as a self-descriptor, to describe those who are asexual and uninterested in romantic relationships. While this isn’t exactly the same as how the word aromantic is now used, we can consider this an early predecessor to the word aromantic.

Another predecessor to the term aromantic is seen in a 2003 orientation poll on AVEN, where users were asked to select whether they were “straight-asexual,” “gay-asexual,” “bi-asexual,” or “asexual-asexual.” According to many in the comments of the original poll, “asexual-asexual” referred to those who did not experience romantic or sexual attraction, i.e., those who we would now refer to as aromantic asexual. (16.84% of respondents, or 302 users, voted for this option.)

We see one of the earliest known uses of the word aromantic (other than the 2002 use on HHA) in 2004 in response to another AVEN poll. The poll asked whether users were non-romantic asexual (“I don’t do romance,” 55.63% or 84 respondents) or romantic asexual (“I voted in the ‘asexual romantics’ poll,” 44.37% or 67 respondents). While most commenters were describing themselves as either romantic asexual or non-romantic asexual, on October 11, 2004, one commenter by the name of pejoratist stated that they were “Very aromantic here.”

We see the word aromantic used again in 2005, in a comment on the 2003 orientation poll (the one which included “asexual-asexual” as an option). In reference to the term “asexual-asexual,” one user by the name of Live R Perfect replied “Surely aromantic asexual would be a better way of describing it?” Following this, we begin to see the word taking off. Over the next few years, more people comment on the orientation poll, describing themselves as aromantic asexual, and in a 2005 AVEN thread by MobiusX, we see several commenters during that same year describing themselves as aromantic.

According to AUREA, AVEN users began to use the word more frequently around 2008/2009, forming somewhat of an unofficial aromantic community within the existing asexual community. By 2010, we begin seeing specific forums and other online spaces meant for aromantics, outside of asexual spaces. This is when the aromantic community began to become its own entity, distinct from yet interconnected with the asexual community.

[aroallo-culture-is]

Aroallo culture is realising how much people whose romantic orientations and sexual orientations don't match need representation. Not just aroallos and alloaces but gay bisexuals, biromantic straights, and onwards

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[apl-culture-is]

alloro apl culture is shipping the best friends when there is no love interest cause if not, you'll get bored

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[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning arospec culture is accidentally misinterpreting the split attraction model spectacularly (and confusing yourself a lot more as a result 😅😅) and then realising that you got it wrong and going “wait a second… could I be aroallo then??”

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